lost

I'm still believing that I did right
That its time to take a different path
But I'm also grieving a lost life
Waiting for the next one to start
A stranger in my own home
Things are the same but I've grown
Feeling like a misfit
Wondering, is this it?
Every job I look at seems so shit
And starting my own thing, such a risk!

I feel a connection to the land
But long for the connection of a man
And yet, at the same time, I feel I need to be alone
Work out myself instead of swiping through my phone
I don't even know
Whether to stay or to go

So many options swirling through my mind
It seems impossible to find
One to focus on
Work on
The days of dreams and passion seem long gone
Where did I go wrong?
To end up so lost and confused
My youth already used
Or is this a natural state?
The fate
of a generation
Pushing adolescence to the maximum